The Problem with American Tourists
by King in Yellow
Summary: A study in crosscultural values. Americans traveling abroad forget that in some other countries swimsuits are not always required. So, whose practices will you follow? Best Enemies universe.


Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. 

NoDrogs created the twins, whose origin is different in my universe.

**The Problem with American Tourists**

Kim appeared more apprehensive than Shego expected, "Why didn't you tell me this is an adult resort?"

"What do you think that means? They don't show porn, throw orgies, or swap spouses. They just don't allow kids. God, Possible, you're a college graduate and you still sound like a high school kid."

"May I interrogate the law student?"

"Fire away, Ms. Persecutor."

"I think you mean Prosecutor."

Shego smiled, "No, I think I got it right."

"Why are we really here?"

"Well, the top three answers, in no particular order, we got a really good deal with the Jewish special--"

"Jewish special? They say that?"

"No, that's what the woman in my synagogue called it. Resorts are dead just before Christmas, so we got a great package since we're going back on Christmas Eve so we can be with your family."

"That's one."

"Two," Shego continued, "In a couple years the offsprung will not let us dump them on grandma and grandpa while we fly off -- they'll demand to come along. And as long as I'm taking a break from my kids I want a break from everyone else's."

Kim held two fingers up in the air, "That's two."

Shego grinned and backed Kim up against a wall in their room, "Three, I want a little time alone with a redhead I am madly in love with. And I wanted a place where no one knows us, and where no one is going to blow a gasket if we hold hands or I lean over and nibble her ear during breakfast, or I give her a long kiss -- like this."

"Mmmm," Kim purred as Shego finished her demonstration. "In that case, dear, how do you explain this?" she asked, holding a brochure she picked up at the front desk as they checked in.

"This? What is this?"

"It's a map of the resort."

"Okay… " Shego asked, clearly puzzled. "What is your point?"

Kim jabbed a finger down on the map, "They have a nude pool!"

Shego rolled her eyes in amusement, "Ya know, Princess, outside the US no one thinks that is particularly weird. In fact, there are places they don't worry about kids seeing adults naked around the pool or on the beach."

"That is sick!"

"You are a prude."

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are," Shego laughed. "Me, married to a prude."

"Am not," Kim muttered.

"Yes you are. But you're my prude and I'm stuck with you. Look, Princess, we don't have to go to the nude pool. See, the map shows three swim-up bars and only one is there. Now let's get on our suits and get out of here."

Half an hour later Kim drank orange juice as Shego ordered a second strawberry daiquiri.

"You knocked that back awfully fast," Kim warned the greenish woman.

"Well, they don't put in a lot of rum at a resort. And since I married a prude if I get drunk and fall off my bar stool she'll keep me from drowning."

"I am not a prude," Kim snapped.

"There's nothing wrong with being a prude," Shego teased. "Some of my best friends are prudes. Of course I wouldn't want my daughter to marry one."

Shego had a couple more daiquiris, and since she had told Kim that resorts were usually light on the alcohol the redhead had two piña coladas.

Their bartender may have been more generous than most with the rum, or perhaps it was simply the fact Kim usually didn't drink, but she had a little buzz when she told Shego, "Let's get out before we're both prunes."

They ate a small lunch, then went back to their room to grab books, Shego wanted to start reading her contract law text before the next semester started and Kim had the latest trashy novel everyone was reading. They planned to sit in deck chairs by one of the pools for a few hours.

As they got ready to leave the room, however, Kim insisted, "I am not a prude."

"Kim, you are. There's nothing wrong with that."

"I'll prove it."

"How?"

"Let's go to the nude pool to read."

"No."

"You scared?" Kim demanded.

"I'm not scared. I just don't want to go there, and I know you are too embarrassed to do it."

"I'm Kim Possible, and--"

"I can do anything," Shego finished for her. "But it doesn't mean it's a good idea or that you really want to do it."

"I will if you will."

"No, Kim."

"You're chicken! I may be a prude, but I'm married to a chicken!" Kim laughed and started clucking at Shego.

Shego flushed, "I am not a chicken!"

"Well I'm not a prude!"

"Put up or shut up, Possible."

Wearing bathrobes and carrying their books the two women nervously approached the pool.

"We don't have to do this," Shego whispered.

Kim clucked at her.

The first twenty minutes were the hardest. After that they began to feel more comfortable.

Kim giggled, "We should have Ron and Bonnie with us next time."

"Why?"

"I think Ron might get a little, ah, distracted by the scenery."

Shego laughed, "Oh, bad form to get distracted by scenery. Now shut up and read your book. I want to get two chapters read before we go back to the room. I have plans for tonight.

The two fell asleep under the warm sun.

---

"So much for your 'plans'," Kim complained that evening.

"I've never had sunburn in those places before," Shego moaned.

"And don't even think about touching me!"

---The End--


End file.
